3% done with radiation treatment

started my radiation therapy today.

only last 25 minutes or so.  not looking forward to 6-7 more weeks of this but gotta zap the cancer away (along with healthy tissue/bone).

i know that God is with me.  like, He showed me something that i would know was from Him.  it's really comforting to know that He is with me.

may He be given all the glory!

life update #17

Dennis Yi
Mon, Jun 21, 2010 at 1:28 PM

howdy all from orange county

it's been a while since my last update so i'll bring ya'll up to speed as to what's been happening.

good news and prayers answered is that i got approved for financial aid in orange county! so, i'm really thankful to God (and for your heard prayers) for allowing this to happen so that i can get further treatment. it's definitely a load off for me and my family.  :)  once we got the application in, the whole process went quicker than the normal time it takes for someone to get approved. we also recently got approved for radiation treatment, so, God-willing, i'll be starting treatment this tuesday or wednesday and it will go on for 7 weeks (mon-fri). some side effects (which tend to arise after the 3rd week of radiation treatment)

been doing physical therapy a few times a week which has been helping me to loosen up my really stiff joints and weak muscles (mostly in my right leg). every time i go in for therapy, they start me on the stationary exercise bike and i thank God every time because He's allowed the PT to also be covered under the financial aid.  it's weird, though, having to re-learn how to walk normally again and to re-gain certain muscle control that we don't even think about (under normal circumstances). i won't be playing any sports that require a lot of agility any time soon, but, good news is that i'll most likely be able to get back on my mountain bike in the future.

a couple weeks back, doc young, my radiation oncologist, said that there's a chance that i might become infertile after the radiation treatment because they'll be zapping my leg/pelvic area with x-rays for an extended amount of time. as a precaution, it was recommended that i go to a sperm bank to make a few deposits before the treatment. well, i did go and they did an analysis of my deposit during my first visit and it turns out that i have a low sperm count and of the sperm in that sample, most were inactive (sorry... tmi). this abnormal state could have been attributed to all the trauma that my body has undergone with all the scans and the two surgeries in that area or this could have been my natural condition all along.

the scientist dude at the bank said that if this condition persists, my future wife and i would most likely have to go through in-vitro fertilization to get pregnant. so, after discussing this with julia (we're not married yet, but, i hope we will be someday), we decided to forgo freezing my boys because the choice to doing in-vitro would compromise our personal convictions.

it was rather hard for both of us to accept the idea that we might not be able to have children by natural birth or even have the option.

however, i think julia and i have come to a point where we're continually trying to trust in God that he's working out the best for us (in this and all circumstances). AND, we still have hope of having our own kids because we've been and are both open to adoption (even before this most recent news).

God is still good and will always be.

i mentioned in my last email that God seems to be stripping away a lot of things in my current stage of life - my material possessions, my retirement, my health, my pride, and my future. again, my soul is laid bare. one might think that this state is dismal but it's actually ok, in fact, it's better than ok. i gotta tell you that when it's just you and God, there IS a sense of peace that can't be explained by our human understanding - because "peace" amidst dismal circumstances doesn't make any human sense.

thank you Jesus for allowing me access to this peace because you are the only way. thank you Holy Spirit for reminding and comforting me of this grace and peace so freely given to me even tho i'm undeserving.

++++++++++++++
prayer requests
++++++++++++++

that my cancer is completely eradicated from my body
that God's will be done in my life and those around me and in this world

thanks everyone for your prayers and support. can't do it with you!

with love
dennis  :P

life update #17

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Dennis Yi <dennis.k.yi@gmail.com>	Mon, Jun 21, 2010 at 2:24 PM
sorry, some possible side effects from radiation treatment include but not limited to:  fatigue,  skin problems, swelling and other not so good things. :P

posting old update

 
life update #16

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Dennis Yi <dennis.k.yi@gmail.com>	Thu, May 20, 2010 at 10:48 PM
howdy all it's been a while since my last update.  been rather anti-social (moreso than normal for that matter    ).  please forgive me.  ayyy.  i'll try to respond to emails and phone calls a little better in the future...   maybe... +++++++++++++++++++++ to bring ya'll up to speed... +++++++++++++++++++++ had a consultation with the chemo oncologist at stanford on 5/10 (couple mondays ago) and she recommended (if i understood her correctly... i'm slow) not going through chemo now and just monitoring my condition to see if the cancer resurfaces at which point we would take action. not sure if i agree with her completely but she probably knows best (her reasons seem valid). so for now, not gonna go through chemo. will probably get a 2nd opinion though if i can soon. yah, i know, it sounds stupid that i would want chemo but i kinda just wanna kill this cancer with as much assuredness as possible. had a consultation with the radiation oncologist at stanford on 5/17 (this past monday) and she recommended radiation for my right leg thigh area. the treatment would be 5 days/wk for 6-8 weeks and they would use x-ray radiation. however, once we found out how much it would cost (a lot) at stanford, we had to look into other options. which leads me onto.... +++++++++++++++++ financial aid journey +++++++++++++++++ (think we all know i shoulda got health insurance right after coming back from china... stupid me). i was told that the newly passed federal health plan don't start until 2014... doh!   i'm sick NOW!  :)  i need a time machine... i don't qualify for medi-cal because: i'm not over 65 and under 21; i don't have children; i am not going to be disabled for over a year (methinks); and i'm not pregnant (last time i checked). i also don't qualify for SSI for the same 'not being disabled for over a year' reason.  does anyone wanna break my legs?  j/k.  they're practically broken already.  :O  (doubly horrible joke) so, then i apply for a monterrey county financial aid program and they see my 401k and stocks. well, they see these as assets (which makes sense... i think). my assets amount to ~$27k pre-tax/pre-penalty. (NOTE: i also wanted to apologize and ask for forgiveness to you guys for not liquidating all this stuff before asking for donations. think it was wrong of me to not have done so. i think in my semi-skewed/selfish non-thinking (like didn't occur to me), i figured 401k is completely hands-off and i forgot about 1 of the 2 cisco stock plans that i had which was the bigger of the two. sorry sorry sorry! i'm bad!)  after getting denied by the financial aid program, i liquidated my 401k and stocks but i still would have had to run through some other hoops to qualify (which weren't tooooo incredibly difficult) if i had decided to go with them.... we then looked into another financial aid program in orange county and the requirements didn't seem as strict (i hope they don't make me go through lotsa additional hoops during the interview like they have done in monterrey county). AND, one interesting thing to note is that orange county doesn't see the 401k as an asset. doh! oh well. bye bye retirement (what little i had). anyways, this program looks like a more feasible option for us than monterrey county (i hope). sooooo,     got an interview with a financial aid person this upcoming monday (5/24) at 1pm and an appt to see a radiation oncologist tomorrow (friday) at 2pm for a 2nd opinion/consultation - both in orange county. this journey has led us to the point where i'll be moving down to orange county soon (like tomorrow). will be back next week for a couple days for wednesday's (5/26) docmo appt where he'll check out the wound to make sure it's healed enough for radiation treatment. hasta luego nor cal!  (translated:  see you later nor cal!) ++++++++++++++++++++ current physical condition ++++++++++++++++++++ i'm basically hobbling around with a cane now. my leg is still rather stiff but i'm able to putt around a little bit. can't drive yet tho! yarrr! health is generally pretty good (minus the obvious ailment). i have a desire to hike up mt whitney this year but we'll see if that comes into fruition depending on my recovery, but, i'm sure i'll be getting back to my non-skinny completely-msucular-self in no time! ++++++ surprise ++++++ oh yah, called stanford billing today and i found out that the 2nd surgery cost is a lot more than the ~$81k they made us put up front (which was an estimate anyways). oy vey!!!!!!   got another stanford acct balance that's a few thousand and will rack up some more debt (least a couple thousand) with the xrays that need to be taken next week. LORD HAVE MERCY!!!  +++++++++++++++++++++ some thoughts and lessons +++++++++++++++++++++ i've been reminded that the peace that i have in a day is directly proportional to my time spent with God through reading of the word, prayer, and dialogue with Him. sometimes it's rough and depressing to think about the circumstances and life in general but spending time with God reminds me that He's in control and that i don't have to worry cuz he's looking out for me and my family and julia and friends. think God is taking away everything from my life (which is kinda weird) to humble me and/or teach me that God alone is sufficient for me?  haven't figured this one out yet completely tho. interestingly enough, i think the most selfish i've been in my life is during this cancer.  i think ya'll can say that it's ok to be selfish when you're sick but it's still unsettling to me. i honestly wish it weren't so - i'm sorta praying that i will love others more.  dunno how jesus did it when faced with the cross - oh yah, he's awesome and the most selfless being to have walked this earth.  an awesome family i know just gave birth to their 2nd child. i had a chance to see the newborn and i was filled with joy because of this new life and gift from God. life (in the form of a baby) is truly a miracle. God-willing, i hope to have some of my own (as long as my own boys don't get zapped too much - which is a possibility...    ). anyways, i digress... THANKS awesome family for letting me share in your joy! been reminded that there is a time for everything  - things are just a little out of general chronological order for me tho. some friends and friends i've never met have mentioned that my faith is awesome and inspiring (which is an encouragement - don't get me wrong) but my faith would be nothing if i didn't have an AWESOME GOD! seriously, if i didn't have God's providence and Jesus' unconditional love/friendship, it woulda been so much harder and such a dark road to travel. +++++++++++++ prayer requests +++++++++++++ + (immediate) that i qualify for the financial assistance program in orange county + (immediate) that we get enough funds to pay the remaining bills at stanford  (won't even give you guys numbers anymore...) + (long-run) pray for peace in my family, julia, and friends AND + (long-run) that God will be glorified in these current circumstances +++++++++++++++++++++++ thank you God and everyone +++++++++++++++++++++++ thanks for reading this far (for those that made it) thanks everyone for all the encouragement and support and prayers! thanks God for keeping me alive thus far! with love dennis   (see pic) check out my pimped out ride... got tennis balls and a chrome frame and rubber handles... oh yah!