dear family and friends,
grace and peace to you all from Jesus Christ.
here are some topics that might/might not answer some of the questions you may have:
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background?
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1/15 (fri) - told mom, while i was still in orange county, that i wanted to get a lump checked out. it's like the size of a smushed baseball in the hamstring area of my left leg. think i first noticed it a while back (a year? i dunno. yes, i'm not too smart putting it off...) and i finally decided to get it checked out. couldn't get a last minute appointment so drove up to my uncle's place as i was gonna drive up to live there to try and finish my masters anyways at san jose state university.
1/19 (tues) - went to a general doctor and he checked out the lump. he immediately requested an MRI to be done for fear of what he thought it could be. he made an appt for the following wednesday for review of the MRI results.
1/21 (thurs) - got an MRI done. had to wait til next wednesday for a review.
1/22 (fri) - went to the beach to spend alone time with God and when i got back home, there was a message from my uncle to call the general doctor. i called the general doctor and he said that he got the results from the MRI and wanted to call me immediately cuz his fear came into fruition. he said the MRI report said that the lump (think i remember him saying it was 12x4x4cm) was most likely a "soft tissue sarcoma".
some info:
1. What are soft tissue sarcomas?
2. Sarcomas are malignant (cancerous) tumors that develop in tissues which connect, support, or surround other structures and organs of the body.
"The 5-year survival rate refers to the percentage of patients who live at least 5 years after their cancer is diagnosed."
think i am in stage III, so looks like i have a ~50%? chance of surviving 5 years (if i go through treatment).
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next steps?
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was gonna try and finish my masters (in EE) at san jose state (starting this tuesday, 1/26) but kinda now on the fence. i'm leaning on continuing with the program. whether i finish is up to Papa.
have an appointment with an orthopedic doctor tomorrow morning at 11:15am (monday, 1/25) and we'll discuss options. i'm guessing surgery and then i think i'll need to talk to an oncologist for chemo and/or radiation treatment.
not sure if i'll stay up in the bay area (currently staying at my uncle and aunt's place near salinas) or head back to orange county (LA) for treatment. i'm leaning towards the bay area cuz i got mo friends here. :) sorry southern cali buddies. :O j/k. logically speaking, i guess i have to go where the treatment is better.
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spiritually?
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i am not mad at God. my spirit is relatively at peace with the whole thing. this is all obviously a part of His good will, so, i just have to take it day by day and trust in Him.
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emotionally?
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had spurts of crying past few days. not so much from fear but possibly from shock but more from the possibility of not being able to love people more and prospects of the ensuing pain in family and friends.
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physically?
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i feel no pain. there is only a slight muscle tightness when i walk.
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financially?
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i haven't had health insurance since i left my job at cisco in 2007. don't have a job now. :) too lazy/cheap to have signed up (my not too smartness... again). i got some savings/some 401k/some cisco stocks. my family will be there with funds, plus, God's bank account is limitless.
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mentally?
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pretty stable i'd say.
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purpose of it all?
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not exactly sure. i think if there was anything that would wake me up to start "living", it would be something like cancer. hasn't really woken me up too much tho. ;) we'll see what God tries to say to me/you/everyone through this. i would love to hear from you to see if God does speak to you in any way.
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prayer requests?
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i would humbly ask that you please pray for my girlfriend, julia. i thank God for every minute that i've had getting to know her. given these new circumstances, i've given her the option to be released of our relationship and/or even friendship (i know... sounds dramatic). :) please don't think any less of her if she chooses this route because she's gone through a lot in her past and i don't want her to have to go through any more pain than she needs to. she is beautifully imperfect (as we all are).
i would humbly ask that you pray that the Holy Spirit works in my family and friends who receive this email to invoke life.
i would humbly request that you pray that God be glorified through this all.
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thanks!
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i'll keep ya'll updated.
in His love,
dennis :)
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