ni hao!
sorry again peeps for not emailing or calling back or flaking or not picking up the phone when i see your number on caller id (haha) forgive me! i'll try and get back to ya'll someday... (haha)
it's honestly been (at times) overwhelming with everything that has been going on almost everyday of this week: doctors consultations, MRI, ctscan, x-ray, blood test, financial assistance research/applying, emailing, scheduling appointments, and meeting up with friends.
however, i thank God for everything kinda going pretty smoothly thus far in terms of getting tests done and the scheduling to see docs and surgery. i thank God for friends too.
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quick update
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so, stanford called me up tuesday afternoon and scheduled me to see Dr. Mohler (an orthopedic oncologist) wednesday morning. praise God for setting it up so quickly. the doc said that it was his opinion that the lump was in fact a sarcoma (malignant cancerous tumor). so, they did a biopsy yesterday and sent the sample to the pathologist. they'll see what kind of sarcoma it is and based upon how aggressive or more aggressive the sarcoma is, they might start chemo first (to shrink the tumor) and then surgery OR surgery first and then possibly chemo/radiation. however, they still scheduled me for surgery to excise the tumor on february 4th anyways (that is if i can get all the finance stuff settled which i don't think will be a problem, God-willing).
good news! the ctscan results for my chest and abdomen area came in and the radiologist dude's conclusion was that there was no cancer metastasis (ie. cancer that has spread). PRAISE JESUS! docmo, with his dry humor, also said that i picked a good spot for my tumor to be in because it's kinda smack in the middle of the my hamstring muscle (ie. near the skin and kinda further away from the bone). the tumor is also away from the sciatic nerve and other nerves and also away from any major artery. so, PRAISE JESUS!
docmo (short for dr. mohler) requested an x-ray for the pelvic region and then a nuclear medicine bone test thingy (i guess to see if the cancer metastasized to my bones and/or pelvic region). going for the bone test today (friday, 1/29).
also got a lump thingy near my groin (don't think it's related to my cancer). docmo requested that a urologist check it out as he thought it was some sort of 'spermatic chord abnormality'. sorry, might be TMI (too much information) for ya'll. well, i'm all about transparency so since you already know about my cancer.... might as well get completely naked (figuratively speaking, of course).
btw, thanks everyone for all the info (ie. health-related and finance stuff). been really helpful.
i think some of ya'll wanna know how you can love me. need to think about it and will send out info in the next email update.
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things i've been learning (thanks Holy Spirit!)
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i'm not jesus but definitely human. i want to love as many folks as possible by meeting up or just talking but i simply can't. i just don't wanna love sometimes and can't love so many people. i'm a pretty emotionally/mentally/spiritually weak/sinful person. i seriously don't know how jesus did what he did, oh wait, he was GOD. :)
also, think i was rather prideful in the way that i asked ya'll to pray for the lost/sick/poverty-stricken as well - thinking that i didn't need ur prayers. oh well, good to be humbled. hope you can still pray for the aforementioned groups tho cuz that's where my heart is (sometimes).
been realizing (more so) the need for friends - that this life and its trials are easier to get through when yah got buddies to journey with. thx!
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prayer request
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through the friendly suggestions of several of you, i've decided i kinda wanna live so i can love others more (one amongst many being a special girl(friend) in new york). so, i don't wanna leave you guys just yet (up to God tho). uhhhh, so i humbly ask for your prayers again.
pray that i gain some healthy weight before/if i go through chemo. i'm not sure if one loses weight during chemo treatment but i think one would and i am pretty slender as is. :O
since i'm not jesus and now realize that my faith/strength/(everything about me) are weak, still need ur prayers to stay strong and contend for life. i might be sorta at peace now, but, several friends told me that chemo is realllllly rough. not looking forward to that if i have an aggressive cancer and not sure of how "at peace" i'll be during those times... :O
pray for mom. if i were parent, it would be hard to imagine losing a child before i passed away. my mom's faith is strong in the Lord but i'm sure she's going through a little bit of struggle (hasn't exactly verbalized it to me tho).
pray for family and friends.
continue to pray for julia too. she's awesome and been a great source of strength/support for me even tho it's been tough for her.
continue to pray that God be glorified through all of this.
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praise night?
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for my nor cal buddies, wanna do a praise / prayer night. anyone in the san jose area who has a big living room wanna host? i was thinking tuesday night (feb 2nd) for a small get together. the day before supposed pre-operation stuff at stanford.
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ok dok
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thanks for the prayers and encouraging emails and help thus far. please KEEP EM COMING as i have been reading the emails (but not responding... ayyyy). you guys are SOOO COOOOL!
God is GOOD!
dennis
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